I know you're surely tired of long, detailed, linear-reading-required entries. Everyone's attention span is so much shorter nowadays.
So I'll just take a few moments to address a few fairly open secrets about life, the universe, etc. They can be read in whole or in part, and mostly in any order, if you're that jacked up on 5-Hour Energy Drink or something. I can't know if any of these open secrets will be news to you or even useful
to you, but... hey, you never know.
I used to do LJI as the_day_setup
, and also as mc_lji
... and (for most of one season) as srs_bidness
Breaking Bad is really a damn good TV show. I know you're tired of hearing it from everywhere, I know. But honestly, damn.
Miley Cyrus's televised "acts" in weeks prior were nothing new, nothing newsworthy, and are the unmistakable textbook actions of a celebrity in their career death-throes. She will be "judging" contestants on whatever dumb Idol / Voice / America's Got Talent knockoff the networks decide to puke cheaply and directly onto the more easily-amused members of the public inside of five years.
It's OK to wear white shoes after Labor Day now. That's what I've heard, anyway. What a time we live in.
The kids these days don't give a shit about etiquette.
This was also true of the kids these days 50 years ago.
Sometimes, you're far worse off going to the doctor than not
going to the doctor.
Salad isn't always that great for you. Not that I'm saying beef is
The NSA probably doesn't care about LJI. But then again... they might.
Subsequently, you may not want to make any threats, implied or otherwise, to various federal offices as part of your entry. I'm looking at you, porn_this_way
There may also be a deeply entrenched multinational corporate cabal conspiring to keep us reliant on gasoline and purposely inhibiting the development of alternative, sustainable propellant technologies for mass transport at every turn until it brings us to utter economic and ecological ruin. Frankly, that seems much more probable than the NSA caring about whatever porn_this_way
wrote in LJI this week, but who knows.
As of this writing, you probably won't save enough money on gas over time with even the fuel-sippiest of hybrid cars to make the added cost pay off in the end. We knew this, and yet I "let" my wife buy herself a Prius this week. It's pretty nice.
Lithium-ion batteries - you know, that kind you have in your laptop, your cell phone, maybe your digital camera, or your spouse's brand new Prius - can in fact actually explode while charging. While it's definitely uncommon, it's still not, like, personal lightning-strike improbable.
I know this because it's commonly reported / subsequently laughed at... and I also know this because I had one explode in my living room this very morning as I sat on the couch. With no warning-- and with an accompanying sound like firing a shotgun in the house-- a li-ion cell shot out of the charging battery container like a blazing red bullet, ricocheted violently off the ceiling (leaving a burn / smoke mark a foot wide in a millisecond's worth of contact), and promptly bounced straight back onto the carpet as a brightly burning ember the size of my index finger.
It was a damn good thing I was there to immediately scoop it up with a nearby implement and prevent a house fire. I've already been through one too many of those
in my lifetime. Now I worry about the new Prius in the garage exploding, although it probably won't.
Anyway, moving on.
Modern gas stations-- even big-name-brand ones-- can, and do, still sell gas that will "kill" your modern car. I have had personal experience with that
this week, too... with my
car. Nothing like dropping $50 on a tank of gas and then immediately having the previously-perfectly-running car stall at every stoplight on the way home (and then all the way to the mechanic's) as a thank-you-for-your-business.
It's actually pretty damned easy to fix a broken computer, most of the time. Same with the majority of broken cars, or so I'm told. But I left mine at the mechanic's today anyway... after I was sure I'd put out the battery fire in the living room.
They say that by 2080, the worldwide consequences of global warming will make it very difficult to grow coffee anywhere on the planet. This is a world I do not wish to contemplate.
Not to sorta echo that dumb Ashton Kutcher speech that got briefly meme-ified on the Twitterbooks a few weeks back or anything, because it's honestly something that's been on my mind a lot for the last several years and I kind of resent hearing such an important thing dumbed down and spewed out of a worthless celeb's mouth to effectively generate ad revenue in the end... but everything around you-- save for things like plant / animal life and natural geographic features-- was created by another human being.
This is one of those open secrets that remains "unknown"-- or even forcefully forgotten and re-forgotten for the entirety of our lives-- simply because the human mind does
have some serious "known issues" and simply cannot process anything approaching its full repercussions for each of us as individuals.
We've done all this stuff for ourselves, and then, over and over again, we cannot understand or believe that we did it. A mental fuse blows from the strain of the comprehension current required. At that point-- and for much of our lives, actually-- whatever-it-is we're looking at becomes noise we don't have to deal with meaningfully, rather than something to deeply contemplate from every angle.
But I digress. This means that it is possible, theoretically, for you to do, create, make, be, achieve something similar or even better than anything
you are currently beholding (aside from this entry, I mean, which would certainly set a low bar to surpass in quality).
Your admiration of whoever-it-is is probably, in large part, an enormous waste, if not a massive weight dragging you down from your own potential. There are no gods among men.
And the people who seem to have achieved god-among-men status in the mass-public eye have largely ended up that way as a matter of sheer dumb luck.
Sure, some of them also may have / may have had talent. Big deal. There are many others who had the same talents, but not quite as much luck... and/or who failed to understand this basic yet "unknowable" premise of no-gods-among-men.
Hell, for that matter, mankind itself came up with all the "real" gods. You may beg to differ with me on that point, even if deep down you know I'm most likely right. It doesn't matter, ultimately, so never mind.
Oh, and I'm a victim of the human mind's limitations in this department too, that whole "we actually did all
of this; thusly, I can too" thing. Boy, am I ever.
Being constantly saddled with frustration, regret, shame, and ultimately meaningless bullshit is way easier than thinking about what you could actually maybe possibly pull off in the world if you weren't constantly saddled with frustration / regret / shame / ultimately meaningless bullshit.
For that matter, pretty much all things in life that you care about are meaningless when you really and truly examine them on the face of things.
...And that's actually OK. One of the human mind's "known issues" is being easily fooled; another is being easily amused. There is no meaning of life, human or otherwise. But because of these longstanding, possibly-shortly-to-be-resolved-in-the-S
ingularity bugs in our systems, we find meaning somewhere
Maybe it's trying to save the planet, or trying to "save souls," or save cuddly animals, or "save" some genre of the arts from its perceived demise, or save a shitton of money, or save a bunch of perceived-cool cultural relics from fates in dumpsters, or save your kids (from unhappy adulthoods, whatever it is you
think will be required to actually pull that off).
I already know you'll fight me on any of these things when I say thing x / y / z does not really matter... not in the scheme of the universe. But I'm still glad it matters to you.
And, actually, I do
think most of these things are actually worthwhile pursuits... because as a human, I'm also easily fooled into believing in "meaning" too. Or at least, I'm willing to be easily and repeatedly re-fooled, because it's easier than constantly facing the actual and total meaninglessness of everything. That is probably also a known mind-issue.
One of my core sources of false meaning: finding happiness, whenever fair / possible, in not causing others' unhappiness (or increased
unhappiness). Y'know, that whole golden-rule thing. I kind of get off on achieving that. It's funny.
And if I've failed this fundamental tenet of my day-to-day existence by "making" you read this entry and subsequently increasing your unhappiness for reasons related to near-term boredom, I sincerely apologize. I assure you it will pass quickly.
Also, just as a reminder, your boredom and irritation do not matter at all in the scheme of the universe. You are nothing to the universe, and your whole existence will be but a fraction of a blink in its stupidly metaphorical-anthropomorphic eye.
But I'm still very sorry regardless. Really, I am.
If you're bored for some reason, and didn't get a chance last week before the poll got prematurely axed, maybe read my Week 14 entry. agirlnamedluna was all set to kick my ass outta this thing... and I understand why, as she did a totally awesome job. But honestly, justified poll ass-beatery aside, I'm still pretty proud of what I turned in too, and I think it was one of the funnier things I've done on LJ in quite a while. You may disagree... in which case I am sorry yet again... and it still doesn't matter.